your life dreams and goals..

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR???
Have you read Andrey Platonov’s Happy Moscow? The heroine, Moscow Chestnova, writes a story as a child:
Story by a Girl with No Father or Mother About Her Future Life
We are being taught to have minds, but minds are in heads, there is nothing on the outside. We must labor to live truthfully, I want to live the future life, I want there to be biscuits and jam and sweets and always to be able to walk by the trees in the field. Otherwise I won’t live, I won’t feel like it. I want to live normally with happiness. There’s nothing to say in addition.

Later, Moscow talks with one of her lovers, the engineer Sartorius:
“My skin always feels cold afterward,” said Moscow. “Love cannot be communism. I’ve thought and thought and realized that it just can’t. One probably should love—and I will love. But it’s like eating food—it’s just a necessity, it’s not what matters in life.” Sartorius was upset that his love, which he had saved up all his life, should meekly perish the very first time. But he understood Moscow’s painful thought: that the very best of feelings lies in understanding another human being, sharing the burdens and happiness of a second, unknown life, and that the love which comes with embraces brings only a child-like, blissful joy, and does nothing to solve the problem of drawing people into the mystery of a shared existence.

The chapter concludes:
Sartorius wanted to protect himself against all present or future convulsions in his life by means of a simple, beloved wife, and so he decided to wait for Moscow’s return.


The future life, the trees in the field, normalcy and happiness. Communism, necessity, joy, a mysterious shared existence. Protection, simplicity, love, restoration. Dystopia, utopia—What are you looking for?


____
its hard to say what we are looking for in this life - any time one of our dreams comes true - we add 10 more new dreams.. human beings never been happy with what they already get.. we never value present moment, present people and things around us.. There's a proverb in Russian - when someone's gone, then only we cry and understand what a diamond we ve lost..

my own dream, its not a goal because it doesnt depend only on me and my efforts - it's to have a happy life in happy own family with people who care and apprciate and respect each other and me..

But since i ve seen many people, many families - which used to look so happy at the beginning - later i found out that there s no respect, no appreciation.. and whats the ned - each member lives for himself.. selfishness comes there..

and thats what im really afraid of - selfishness and rudeness and pretense...

Have i answered your question?